Are your workplace gripes fair and legitimate ones?

How long have you had this complaint?

Does your employer offer good guidance regarding how to handle conflicts in the workplace and what to do if you need help?

Would you be described more as a whiner by your co-workers or a person who proactively seeks fair resolutions?

What have you done to help with brainstorming about possible solutions to your current workplace complaints?

Want to be part of the solution and have another chance to demonstrate your leadership qualities and skills?

If so, then let me share the following policy and procedures with you for handling employee and other workplace related complaints.  I recommend this policy to all my clients and their employees.  Consistently, their results after implementing it have included: reduced stress for employees and management, faster implementation of needed changes, employees learning to think like managers, managers learning the value of  asking for their employees ideas and input more often, a drastic reduction in workplace non-productive griping behind closed doors and improved morale office-wide.

My recommended “Quit Griping, Start Resolving” Policy:

• Voice your concerns in writing…..create a first draft for-your-eyes-only that includes how you REALLY feel …… then shred it, rewrite until it is clear, succinct, professionally stated
• Include in this memo at least two possible, reasonable and affordable solutions that would be worthwhile resolutions for management/ leadership to consider
• Include a request that after the recipient has had time to review your memo and the situation that you would like to meet with them to discuss it further
• After delivering your concerns and resolution proposal to the appropriate supervisory person, place a reminder in your calendar to follow up with him or her in 1 week in case they haven’t responded by then
• Make sure you are not continuing to gripe about the issues addressed in your memo to others or continuing to stress over it yourself … you’ve done what you could to find a fair and workable resolution AND you’ve done so in a professional and productive manner

Employees — Realize that management may or may not adopt one of your solutions….once a decision is made, however, trust that the best decision for the firm or business as a whole has been made by leadership…and if trust is something you don’t have for management, that’s a much larger problem and it may be time for you to make a change

Employers –  If you implement this system and have employees who either refuse to participate or do participate and then STILL keep griping even after a resolution is applied, you may have what I call a “Killer Bee” on your hands!  This is that type of employee who chronically sports a bad attitude…loves to stir up trouble…always complaining, etc.  If you’ve given them every possible chance to make the necessary attitude adjustments and they don’t do it, get rid of them…no matter how great their skills may be, the morale killing fallout and other damages to their co-workers’ productivity, work quality and stress from their constant bad attitudes trump those talents.

The best part of my suggestions above is that you can try them even if the powers-that-be in your workplace don’t have a similar policy or worse, they offer no conflict resolution guidance or policies. This  method of how to handle workplace gripes has been successfully tried and proven many times by my clients through the years. Whether you can use bits and pieces of this conflict resolution policy or all of it, I’m for anything that helps us reduce the unproductive, morale busting fallout of unresolved tensions in the workplace.

Wishing you  work you love doing with minimal workplace gripes and with others who, like you, want to minimize the ugliness of the conflicts we humans are so good at generating.  And as always, thanks for sharing a part of your day with LawBusinessTips.com!

Copied below is a somewhat altered version of my September  ’09 Lawyers USA column.  It is a further expansion (and more polished!) of my 8/25/09 post on greed and unresolved disputes.  Let me know what you think, what you’d add or disagree with and best wishes for a wonderful (and safe) upcoming Labor Day weekend.  And, oh yes…if you’d like to see other columns and quotes of mine in Lawyers USA, click here.  While visiting their site, I hope you can take some time to explore all the good materials and ideas it continues to offer attorneys and staff.

Preventing Partnership (and Family!) Implosions Before It’s Too Late

All too often we hear about law firms or extended families that find themselves in the midst of highly emotional, extremely costly and messy disputes. These conflicts can be over a lot of little things or fallout from a major disruption, such as a dishonest partner or estate-related jealousies or greed following the death of a beloved family member.

In many family situations, outsiders would have never predicted that anything or anyone – including greed – could trump a seemingly loving family’s loyalty to one another.  And yet some families are torn apart by greed, a lack of healthy communications and in some cases, raw desperation in tough times.  The same is true for many law firm partnerships that to outsiders appear successful and well run by a united leadership team.  We’ve all seen, however, too many partnerships implode in spite of the partners’ prior loyalties to one another, their shared professional bonds, complementary skills or many years of working together.

We must never underestimate the damage that can be caused by greed, desperation,deceit, assuming a conclusion BEFORE having all the factsw and deficient or misunderstood communications.  Nor should we discount the damaging fallout spread through a family or law office due to longstanding, unresolved disputes. And unfortunately, challenging economic times can make these destructive scenarios more likely.

Below are a few “starter” tips (far from all-inclusive) to consider when extended family or partner disputes arise.  They may not always help prevent the ultimate dissolution of a firm or family unit. They have proven, however, to help sparring parties move toward a timely resolution that allows everyone to get on with their lives without lasting bitterness, the scarring of permanent anger or the waste of yet more time due to destructive behaviors:

(1) If you have an “issue” or disagreement with a partner or family member, don’t bury your head in the sand or otherwise procrastinate. Squarely face the conflict. Talk things over sooner rather than later. Keep civil, respectful discussions moving forward for as long as it takes to find a fair resolution, to find better and productive ways to communicate and to salvage relationships worth holding onto.

(2) Search for and find the real facts. To not do so means you may be unknowingly (or in some cases very knowingly!) relying upon malicious gossip, incorrect and/or possibly intentionally false information.

(3) When discussing the disputed issues, ensure your imaginary “thick skin” is on at all times so as to maximize a continuing progress towards resolution and to minimize any emotional meltdowns (including the spewing of words you may later regret).

(4) Give any and all discussions your undivided attention; no multitasking, displays of impatience (including negative body language!) or any other actions that indicate you have more important priorities than finding a fair resolution.  Consistently be an active listener. Be willing and open to hear and try to understand the other side’s perspective. Commit to keeping an open mind and acting with class and respectfulness toward all. This commitment must be ongoing and steadfast as everyone works their way through the painful, unpleasant and sensitive issues that need to be addressed and resolved.

(5) If you feel you lack the emotional stability and/or necessary communication skills to work patiently and steadfastly toward resolution, then hire a third party neutral such as a mediator. The right facilitator can help you navigate through the waters of awkwardness, miscommunications, false impressions, the pain of conflict and/or the points of strong disagreement.

(6) Bring in other facilitators or experts to assist with the process when their expertise would be helpful to the process (e.g. accountants, human resource managers, communication coaches).

(7) Understand that if you do choose to handle conflicts disrespectfully, hastily or harshly without getting all the facts and trying to resolve all disputes in a fair and respectful manner, there will no doubt be long term negative consequences – many of which you may never have anticipated.

Through my years as an attorney, mediator, law office advisor, management consultant and plain ol’ southern gal I have seen firsthand what runaway greed and unresolved conflicts can do to a law firm, family or business. It’s never pretty, always costly and there are truly no winners. We can, however, minimize the risks of costly litigation and the tragic repercussions of destroyed families, friendships and long-term professional relationships. We can do so by timely addressing our conflicts – whether big or small – wisely, honestly, calmly and respectfully. This is easier said than done, but so worth our courage, time and honest efforts.

(c) Nancy Byerly Jones 2009