Thanks to Top of Texas Gazette’s 7/24/10 blog post (http://bit.ly/d95Q3q) for this one….instead of calling myself”fluffy” now, think I’ll switch to “juicy”
zaftig
zaftig \ ZAHF-tik \ , adjective;
1. Full-bodied; well-proportioned.
Origin: Zaftig is a borrowing from Yiddish, zaftik, literally meaning “juicy.”
A rarely used word which I am...
Customer: Hi, How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.
Customer: On what?
Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.
Customer: How about giving me an average price?
Clerk: Wow, that’s too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there’s no...
Trying to survive some tough times in your business, at home, otherwise? Then this amazing story is a must read for inspiration from a determined, courageous pony called “Molly.” Even if you read about Molly’s amazing story when it first appeared in 2008, it is definitely one of those that keeps giving no matter how often we re-read it.
Molly’s incredible story continues...
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the...
A husband, looking through the newspaper, came upon a study that said women use more words than men.
Excited to prove to his wife his long-held contention that women in general, and his wife in particular, talked too much, he showed her the study results.
The report stated: “Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000.”
His wife thought awhile, then finally she said to...
A man, quite drunk, at a party signals for the hostess. As she approaches the man he belches, hicks, and asks if her lemons have legs on them. The hostess, astounded, replies curtly that, “no her lemons don’t have legs on them” and walks away in a huff.
Perplexed, the man returns to sipping his drink. A little later he eyes the hostess again. He motions for her to come over to...
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,
“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him
an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40...
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you...
To My Darling Husband,
Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to email and let
you know about the small accident I had with the pick-up truck
when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately, it’s not too bad and
I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me.
I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the
driveway I accidentally...
A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.
Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheer. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the ...
Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is but a promissory note. Today…it’s the only cash we have so we’d best spend it wisely!
Wag More. Bark less.
Never miss a good opportunity to just shut the heck up!
The bee is such a busy soul…there is no time for birth control. And that is why in times like these, there are so many Sons of Bees!
Blessed are those who can laugh at...
Comedian Mrs. Hughes performs her observational comedy live at the Ice House. I hope you enjoy her unfiltered and witty humor as much as I do.
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