I believe each and every birthday is a really big deal.  IMHO, birthdays should be celebrated as if they were our only one and our last because …well….someday it will be.  Just as we share happy memories at the final celebrations of a deceased loved one’s life, why in the heck should we not be celebrating the heck out of our birthdays while we’re alive and kicking?  Our celebrations needn’t be lavish, costly or stress inducers …. just heartfelt happiness and joy shared with loved ones to celebrate a really big deal day…our birthdays.

Other people may ask what the big deal is and say it’s just another same-old, same-old day in the big scheme of things.  No way, Jose!  I feel for anyone too busy perhaps, or too cynical or too disengaged to recognize the sheer joy of knowing the fun one gets from a good dose of yahooing-from-the-soul and otherwise kicking up their heels to celebrate their birthdays. And, birthdays are the perfect time for re-appreciating and re-celebrating our very existence on this challenging, but nevertheless glorious earth…the good days and the bad….to be still for a moment absorbing the miracle of life within us which is at once so complex and yet so very simple.

Okay…back to that very special person in my life….Circumstances won’t allow us to celebrate together this year and that stinks to put it simply.  On the other hand, true celebrations of the heart are not discouraged by anything — not by miles or illness, not by generational differences, circumstances..good or bad….not even death.  The heart, you see, laughs (and cries) at the layers, limits and conditions we put around our human relationships.  Celebrations of the heart know no such barriers…just the warmth and peace of true love and joy.

So, while I can’t personally be on hand this year to celebrate this very special someone’s birthday, my heart celebrations will be non-stop and my very soul will be hugged from the joy of such a big deal day.  My face will be ear-to-ear-double-chin-style smiling all day long and I will be 100% immune to anyone or anything that tries to deflate my heart’s celebration.  I will also be more mindful than ever of how extremely blessed my life has been to know, learn from, and love this very special and wonderful person in my life.

Yes…today is a very special day and I hope yours is full of celebrations too…whether birthdays or other joys…big or small “stuff” to celebrate.  Let’s all try harder to not allow life’s curve balls and negatives, our hurts and emotional scars, and our busyness to keep us from enjoying this day before us to the fullest.  For today truly is the only real “cash” we have and we must spend it carefully and wisely, live each moment fully and attentively and allow our hearts to joyously celebrate the blessing of another “today.”

Happy Birthday, very special person!  I love you with all my heart, Son, and am wishing you a very happy and joyous 40th celebration on this really, really big-deal day!

Lovingly.

From Your Waaaaay-Too-Young-to-Have-a-40-Year-Old-Son Mom

Customer: On what?
Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.

Customer: How about giving me an average price?
Clerk: Wow, that’s too hard a question.  The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What’s the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there’s no difference; it’s all the same paint.

Customer: Well, then, I’d like some of that $9 paint.
Clerk: Well, first I need to ask you a few questions.  When do you intend to use it?

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow on my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is $200 per gallon.

Customer: What?  When would I have to paint in order to get $9 paint?

Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.

Customer: You’ve got to be kidding!

Clerk: Sir, we don’t kid around here.  Of course, I’ll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to you.

Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.

Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn’t mean that we have it.  It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend.  Oh, and by the way, the price just went up to $12.

Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking?

Clerk: Yes sir.  You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven’t actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change.  Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest you get on with your purchase.  How many gallons do you want?

Customer: I don’t know exactly.  Maybe five gallons.  Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.

Clerk: Oh, no sir, you can’t do that.  If you buy the paint and then don’t use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.

Customer: What?

Clerk: That’s right.  We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall, and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the other bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.

Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all of the paint?  I already paid you for it!

Clerk: Sir, there’s no point in getting upset; that’s just the way it is.  We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all of the paint, and when you don’t, it just causes us all sorts of problems.

Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I don’t keep painting until Sunday night?
Clerk: Yes sir, it will.

Customer: Well, that does it!  I am going somewhere else to buy paint!
Clerk: That won’t do you any good, sir.  We all have the same rules. You might as well just buy it here, while the price is now $13.50. Thanks for flying–I mean painting–with our airline.

(Source Unknown But Whoever You Are, Thank You!)

Molly’s incredible story continues to inspire the wounded, sick and bed-ridden even today….if it’s a good time for you to read an uplifting story about guts, attitude and perseverance (and much more!), then I strongly recommend you take a few minutes to learn Molly’s story (and many thanks for sharing a part of your day w/LawBusinessTips.com)

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion  of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol – Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil -  ALIVE!

So the Minister asked the congregation – What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was setting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

“As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”

That pretty much ended the service.

• we’re lazy,
• don’t think clients have the know-how to judge us properly,
• that we’re really scared of what they may say negative about us or
• that we really don’t get how invaluable such a resource is to us?

Whatever our reason for not providing several alternative ways for our clients to give us their ongoing and forthright feedback (and sooner than later hopefully), we are missing out on an enormously valuable marketing and planning tool.   Who better than our clients to tell us how we’re doing and that includes what we’re doing right, what they appreciate most and whatever else we do to earn their loyalty.  Client surveys – written, oral or otherwise – are not for the sole purpose of digging of all our faults per the client’s eye….they are also about finding out what we’re doing right to help ensure we recognize (and keep doing!) those things appreciated and valued by our clients.  So as my 2002 article suggest, let’s put on our thick skins and begin soliciting more feedback from our clients….start with the next one you email or talk to by phone by asking one feedback-type question before hanging up or hitting the email “send” button (e.g. “How have I helped you most?”  “Is there anyone at our office that stands out as one you can always count on to have a positive and helpful attitude?”  “Would you feel totally comfortable recommending our firm to one of your friends, relatives or business associates?” )

If your firm hasn’t given client feedback an honest effort yet, I strongly recommend you make it a top priority over the next few months.  You’ll find out who the comedians are, get some bogus feedback, and will absolutely gain some very useful bits of information from the best sources possible…those we serve.  Let me know how it goes and if you don’t agree 1000% that it was worth the effort.

Enjoy your day in spite of any jerks who attempt to make it less than enjoyable for you!  And please let’s all make and take time for whatever helps us de-stress, re-align our positive spirits, etc.  As for me, our 4-legged family members …the horses, donkeys, dogs, cat…. help bring back my sense of humor and positive attitude whenever my plate gets overloaded from too much work or having to deal with too many toxic folks during any given day!  And, thank heavens for a great sense of humor…some times it seems that’s all we have left for the moment.

With Smiles,

Nancy

Cowgirl at Heart

Excited to prove to his wife his long-held contention that women in general, and his wife in particular, talked too much, he showed her the study results.

The report stated: “Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000.”

His wife thought awhile, then finally she said to her husband, “It’s because we have to repeat everything we say.”

The husband said, “What?”

I can't hear you, Darling....

(Author Unknown…and more than likely a flawed study, right?!?)

The self-audit below is by no means intended as all-inclusive, but is intended to help anyone who supervises others to take a quick look at how they are doing…what can we improve, what should we stop doing ASAP and what things are we doing well and should make sure we keep doing??!?  Remember, the two critical elements in any self-audit process are:

1. Being brutally and thoroughly honest with ourselves; and

2. Having the self-discipline and commitment to convert needed changes into reality sooner than later

Well, here we go…let me know what questions you’d add, delete or change….always appreciate your feedback …even when painful!

Smiles from Our "Miz Star"

1.Are regular lawyer-staff meetings held for legal support teams?

2. Are staff members kept informed of and given an opportunity to offer input regarding matters affecting them?

3. Is appreciation frequently expressed for work well done, and is any necessary criticism shared privately, constructively, and sooner than later?

4. Are staff members given clear and complete instructions regarding work assigned?

5. Are reasonable completion priority dates given with work assignments?

6. Are assistants kept informed about the whereabouts and schedules of the persons for whom they work?

7. Do lawyers stay in tune with office morale taking any necessary steps to investigate and redirect low periods back to a positive working environment for all?

8. Is timely and appropriate support offered staff members with disrespectful, rude, and otherwise out-of-line clients?

9. Are staff members encouraged to maintain a reasonable and healthy balance between their professional and personal lives, or are they made to feel guilty over taking earned vacation days, staying home with a sick child, etc.?

10. Are all members of the legal vdteam introduced to clients by the responsible lawyer at the onset of representation and during which time the lawyer reminds clients that staff members cannot and will not ever give the clients legal advice?

11. Do the lawyers and other management personnel set good examples for the staff by providing and faithfully utilizing the firm’s risk management policies and systems (e.g., email, internet and social media policies and parameters, docket/work control, conflicts of interest, good documentation, file management, etc.)?

12. Are staff members ever asked to be a party to unethical conduct or to participate in any other uncomfortable and unprofessional situations?

13. Do you have planned, fair, and good staff evaluation policies and procedures while ensuring that all staff members receive frequent feedback regarding the quality of their work product, their overall performance, and their other contributions to the firm?

15. Have the “how to’s” of guarding lawyer-client confidentiality been thoroughly explained to and discussed with all staff members?

16. Have all firm employees signed a confidentiality form acknowledging their understanding of the importance of safeguarding client information and property?

17. Are all lawyers and others in supervisory positions kept informed about how to manage, hire, train, and supervise associates and staff properly?

18. Have all staff members been provided with a copy and told to read your jurisdiction’s ethics rules, the informative comment sections and related guidelines/articles/checklists?

19. Have meetings been held for the purpose of teaching and discussing the rules of ethics?

20. Are quality control systems for checking the quality and timeliness of staff’s work product utilized (i.e., random file reviews to check on such things as the use of appropriate, error-reducing checklists, organized and complete file documentation, etc.)?

21. Is there a comprehensive, up-to-date office policy and procedures manual that is readily accessible to and used by all employees?

22. Does the office manual include clear, detailed how-to sections (e.g., Risk Management How To’s, How to Check for Conflicts of Interest, How to Open a File, How to Handle Disgruntled Clients)?

23. Have the firm’s telephone policies and procedures been clearly established and thoroughly explained to all employees, with an emphasis on the critical importance of handling all calls with professional courtesy (explaining that each and everyone also carries the unwritten title of “Marketers of 1st and Last Impression” for the firm)?

24. If for some reason a person’s supervisor is an inappropriate resource, do employees know to whom they should report problems such as office bullying, sexual harassment, unethical actions or omissions, suspected substance abuse, and other concerns on a confidential basis without fear of retaliation?

25. Are appropriate interpersonal skills, conflict resolution skills, staff management policies and procedures taught to all supervisory personnel?

26. If jobs were reversed and you were a staff member, would you want to work for someone with your same work habits, work ethic, and interpersonal skills? Why or why not?

AND…IF YOU ARE STILL READING, PLEASE SEE THE NOTE BELOW FROM NANCY RE HER SELF-AUDIT LIBRARY:

• Can’t or don’t want to pay consulting fees?
• Prefer to take a hard look at what’s working and what’s not on your own?
• If your answer is “Yes or Maybe” and you’re interested in purchasing one of my self-audit e-books* then please send me an email and I’ll notify you when the newest versions are available for purchase on-line.
• NBJ’s Self-Audit Library includes such topics as Self-Audits for Law Offices Big & Small, for Professional Firms, for Conflict Resolution, for Career Building, Risk Management, and many more.
• Or, want a customized self-audit developed by Nancy for your firm or office?  Great…please contact us so we can get started sooner than later.

*($35 each or $100 with forms, checklists and NBJ articles included, or $150 to include the extra materials plus a call with Nancy to discuss how to get started and how to maximize your self-auditing efforts)

……and last, but not least, many thanks for your interest….your courage and wisdom to stay in touch with the realities of your office’s strengths and weakness is admirable.

P.S. Here’s a what a former section chair of the ABA’s Law Practice Management Section had to say after he reviewed my first nationwide book of self-audits waaaay back in 1999:

“…[Easy Self-Audits...] one of the most valuable books I have read in 20 years on practice management”
(J. Bennett, Attorney, District of Columbia Bar Association Book Review, August-September 1999)

(Self-Audits for the Busy Law Office, by Nancy Byerly Jones, Pub’d by ABA, 1999…and still being requested and sold by the ABA!)

A man, quite drunk, at a party signals for the hostess. As she approaches the man he belches, hicks, and asks if her lemons have legs on them. The hostess, astounded, replies curtly that, “no her lemons don’t have legs on them” and walks away in a huff.

Perplexed, the man returns to sipping his drink. A little later he eyes the hostess again. He motions for her to come over to him. Flustered, she walks up to him, asking “what is it this time?” As the man lets out a loud yet controlled hick and belch he asks her again if her lemons have legs on them. She again replies no and storms off.

After another attempt by the drunk man to find out if there’s legs on the lemons the hostess threatens to have him hauled off by the police.

The man, finding an instant of clarity, said in a drunken drawl …..”If you’re sure your lemons don’t have legs on them, then I must’ve squeezed your canary in my drink!”

2. Do you make an excessive number of personal calls during the workday?  What about personal emails?

3.  How would co-workers most likely describe your office personality (grumpy, happy, productive, efficient, resourceful, energetic, bully, holier-than-thou, wimpy, rude, positive, negative, I-do-no-wrong-ever, whiner, gabby gossiper, sour puss, team player, chatty Cathy)?

4.  Are you a 9 to 5 clock watcher or willing to go the extra mile no matter what or how long it takes to get the job done?

5.  Do you have any unresolved conflicts with co-workers?  If so, do you make the effort to resolve conflicts, disagreements quickly?  Or, do you just quit speaking to the co-worker, talk about them behind their backs and/or refuse to face the real issues?

6.  Do you share a good (and appropriate) sense of humor at work?

7.  When instructions are unclear, do you seek clarification sooner than later?  If you give instructions, are they clear, timely and prioritized for your employees…or are you a poor planner and ask for everything to be done ASAP?!?

8.  Is your attitude one that sets a good example for others (e.g. positive, resourceful, uplifting, helpful, thoughtful) or one that can darken a room quicker than a full scale, nighttime power outage?

9.  Do you respect and show respect to all employees regardless of their title, job, seniority or lowness in the pecking order?

10.  Would you like to work for someone like yourself? Why or why not?

NOTE FROM NANCY RE HER SELF-AUDIT LIBRARY:

Can’t or don’t want to pay consulting fees?

Prefer to take a hard look at what’s working and what’s not on your own?

If your answer is “Yes or Maybe” and you’re interested in purchasing one of my self-audit e-books* ($35 each or $100 with forms, checklists and NBJ articles included, or $150 to include the extra materials plus a call with Nancy to discuss how to get started and how to maximize your self-auditing efforts).

If so, please send me an email and I’ll notify you when the newest versions are available for purchase on-line…and many thanks for your interest….your courage and wisdom to stay in touch with the realities of your office’s strengths and weakness is admirable.

*NBJ’s Self-Audit Library includes such topics as Self-Audits for Law Offices Big & Small, for Professional Firms, for Conflict Resolution, for Career Building, Risk Management, and many more. Or, want a customized self-audit developed by Nancy for your firm or office?  We welcome those requests as well.

P.S. Here’s a what a former section chair of the ABA’s Law Practice Management Section had to say after he reviewed my first nationwide book of self-audits waaaay back in 1999:

“…[Easy Self-Audits...] one of the most valuable books I have read in 20 years on practice management”
(J. Bennett, Attorney, District of Columbia Bar Association Book Review, August-September 1999)

(Self-Audits for the Busy Law Office, by Nancy Byerly Jones, Pub’d by ABA, 1999…and still being requested and sold by the ABA!)

How Can Paralegals as a Profession Maintain Their Highly Valued Niche

1. Love what you do, respect your employer and co-workers and have empathy and compassion for those who really pay your wages … the clients. And, if you don’t…well, how can you be helping to enhance your profession?!
2. Always make the effort and take the time to ensure the glamorous and not-so-glamorous parts of your job are done right the first time. Any true professional understands and does this.  They also know professionalism is not something we turn on and off at the office door…it is a 24/7 commitment.
3. Encourage risk management, marketing, conflict resolution, stress management & appropriate technology know-how (e.g. proper and professional use of social media and within parameters of firm’s internet policies) as must-have knowledge and skills for all paralegals. Include these critical topics in all CLE programs…all! Don’t consider them subject matters for just the attorneys, IT folks or others to know…these are critical areas to every office and paralegals must become more knowledgeable and learned in all these areas.
4. Respect the contributions of all others working within the legal system regardless of their title or designated low place on the totem pole.
5. Police yourselves (e.g. if you know a paralegal is engaged in unethical or criminal activities, get help from the appropriate persons to ensure they are stopped sooner than later).
6. Do not accept same old, same old CLE programs as enough for meeting the Bar’s annual CLE requirement….be progressive, broad-minded and attentive when it comes to offering programs of interest, value and excellent learning opportunities for all paralegals.  Ditto re seeking speaking opportunities at attorney CLE programs to teach subjects such as: Working Effectively With Your Paralegals; The Value of Paralegals in Family Law Practices, Criminal Law, Corporate Legal Departments, etc. Ditto re community speaking opportunities…help educate the public regarding how to work efficiently and successfully with their attorneys and legal staff, what paralegals do, etc.
7. Delegate if you’re fortunate enough to have that option…by effectively delegating yourself, you will be demonstrating first hand to any attorneys who are not good delegators the value of trust, respect for others and delegation.
8. Be proud of being State Bar certified if you have successfully achieved this goal, but do not assume a better-than-thou attitude regarding non-certified paralegals.  Instead, work together on opportunities to share data and tools rather than forming cliques or trying to distance yourselves as the “real” paralegals via that ol’ egotistic pedestal. What nonsense….anyone –regardless of their titles or degrees — working for a law office or legal department should be bringing value to it or they shouldn’t be there.
9. Build a solid foundation for all those following in your footsteps via thoughtful succession planning for future paralegals and the profession’s future leaders.
10. Be willing to do any and all legal staff jobs necessary when extra hands are needed….your paralegal skills are critically valuable to attorneys and expected….employees MOST valued, however, regardless of titles or certifications are those known for their willingness to do what’s in the firm’s best interest with a great attitude and in spite of it not being in their job description (you know, however, that this does NOT include the unauthorized practice of law!)

How Paralegals Can Enhance Their Individual Value

1. Have the courage to look in the mirror often & to make changes as and when needed (i.e. Pros/Cons checklists regarding personal strengths and weaknesses and your job’s positives and negatives).
2. Initiate (e.g. firm doesn’t have social media policy? Draft one for consideration) and be innovative, creative, and resourceful (and hold onto a good sense of humor too…a must-have for everyone working within the legal system!)
3. Be an excellent team player, leader and follower when appropriate.
4. Know, respect and work within the ethical rules and other related regulations, not putting one’s head in the sand if malpractice or ethical violations are likely or already occurring, and at all times avoiding even the appearance of the unauthorized practice of law.
5. Never quit using well-designed checklists to help minimize the chance of human errors and never quit learning new things and honing our skills.
6. Communicate clearly and respectfully with attorneys, co-workers, third parties and clients (this includes being attentive listeners)..by the way, dress in a professional manner too…you’re at the office, not a cocktail party!
7. Go beyond traditional expectations when it comes to writing skills (e.g. pleadings, correspondence, contracts); learn how to professionally, effectively and ethically use social media, blog, create excellent website content, etc.
8. Be solution seekers vs. contributors to gossip pollution or the fallout of unresolved disputes.
9. Brainstorm and apply ways to save the firm or legal department money.
10. Create, implement and closely monitor strategic plans for your professional and personal lives.
11. Do what’s necessary to maintain good mental and physical health.
12. Possess and demonstrate consistently positive, can do/ will do attitudes.

Behaviors that Decrease a Paralegal’s (and any Employee’s!) Value?

1. Verbally abusive (e.g. gossipers, whiners, criticizers)
2. Resistance or down-right refusal to learn new systems, technology, etc.
3. Insecure, shows little or no initiative, requires too much hand-holding
4. Overly defensive to constructive feedback
5. Jealous of co-workers’ successes
6. Enjoy stirring up conflict rather than avoiding or resolving it
7. What’s-in-it-for-me attitudes vs. what’s best for the clients, firm
8. It’s-not-my-job attitudes (I.e. non-team players)
9. Holier-than-thou attitudes with other employees
10. Think they know more than anyone else including the attorneys
11. Unhealthy habits (e.g. workaholic, little or no exercise, poor stress management)
12. Too busy whining, being negative to stay focused properly on the moment and task at hand

Enhancing The Profession for Future Paralegals

1. Each and every paralegal must work hard at enhancing their value to firms and legal departments by behaving as noted above and more.
2. Paralegals should collectively and unselfishly do things today that will create long-term payoffs for future professionals — payoffs that may not be reaped until after the “planners” themselves have passed the torch and retired.
3. Work well collectively overcoming jealousies and pre-judgments that impede real progress (i.e. ditch the negative “layers” — the politics, cliques, insecurities and non-productive attitudes)
4. Assign tasks in association work based on strengths and skills vs. seniority and select leaders with characteristics needed for effective leadership
5. Love what you do, respect your employer and co-workers and have empathy and compassion for those who really pay your wages … the  client.*

*Warning — If you don’t or can’t feel the love, respect, empathy and compassion noted in #5 above, you just may need to change employers and/or professions asap!

Related Materials:

Staff Plays Key Role in Law Firm’s Survival in Tough Times

Workplace Gripes? Quit Complaining, Start Resolving

Checklist for Managing Stress (Short Version!) and My Top 4 Stress Management Tips

Our Mental Health and Toxic People

Morale Busters and Boosters

My Problems with the Word, “Non-Lawyer” and Related Links

Attire in the Workplace (and oh-so-sexy Voicemail Greetings too…another one of my sore spots!)

Reducing our Personality “Fireworks” Displays in and Out of the Office

Lawyers Lives Out of Control = Ethics Violation #1 , Hidden Dangers in Law Firms & Other Articles

Action Plan

The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west
longitude.”

“You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is, technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how
to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.”

(original source unknown)

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. ” An idle mind is the devil’s
workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to
a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Seminar attendees and clients alike often ask me, “What are the characteristics of successful law firms?” It’s a great question as there are indeed shared traits among firms who seem to flourish year after year based on their number of satisfied clients, their survival of tough times and the loyalty and stability of their staff. Ditto re most law firm failures as well!  Keep in mind, however, that every firm and every success (and failure!) story also has its own unique characteristics including its collective personality and culture, its motivators and, of course, those destructive and often subtly hidden de-motivators!  With that said, however, firms that maintain success records do:

1. Make ongoing efforts to improve management and leadership skills including the identification and appointment of the most qualified and ethical people to be firm leaders (vs. leadership by seniority alone).

2. Ensure that strategic plans or action plans aren’t just agenda topics at retreats or other meetings.  They are created, monitored regularly and everyone – from the top down – is held accountable to do their part.   This means there are real and reasonable goals clearly defined.  And perhaps most importantly, there are real consequences when someone fails to do his assigned tasks (i.e. ACCOUNTABILITY is an action, not merely a word!).

3. Have a “doable” and innovative marketing plan that’s tweaked as needed.  Marketing is a firm-wide activity –the newest to the oldest of employees participate and are properly trained to do so effectively, professionally and successfully.  Referral sources and other “measuring sticks” for assessing a firm’s marketing success are reviewed often to ensure the plan is indeed attracting the types of clients desired.  And, the flip side of this means they are not threshold practices –meaning they don’t take whatever client may walk over their threshold.  Client selection is done carefully and selectively in sync with the firm’s marketing and strategic plans.

4. Treat all employees — from the newest file clerk hire to the partners — respectfully at all times (including treating/training/renaming receptionists as your primary “Marketers of First & Last Impression!”). Office bullies and chronic naysayers are never tolerated regardless of the seniority of the perpetrator.

5. Have leaders that act decisively and do not shy away from the tougher decisions.  Likewise, they avoid the many negative consequences of sticking their heads in the sand and/or procrastinating.

6. Hire wisely and offer continuing and quality training, frequent and timely performance and attitude evaluations and one-on-one coaching (e.g. new software/equipment, stress or anger management, organizational skills, associate development, substantive law skills, etc.).

7. Define success independently and creatively – in other words, by what’s best/right for the firm, its people, goals and culture vs. merely adopting society’s or traditional legal system definitions.

8. Treat each and every client with the utmost integrity, timeliness and respectfulness…and as if they were their only and/or their biggest client.  They also offer clients multiple ways to offer their feedback and recommendations anonymously and otherwise.

9. Embrace risk management and technology completely and in an ethical manner and with foresight, resourcefulness, and creativity (vs. attitudes such as “My staff takes care of stuff like this.“).  Likewise, they recognize technology changes can (and often do!) happen overnight and they are willing to be persistent and patient with each new learning curve challenge.  No employee –again from the top down — is allowed to be non-compliant (ever!) when it comes to the firm’s risk management systems and policies.  In addition, these firms recognize that no consultant or IT pro holds the magic wand for the success (or failure!) of the firm’s on-line presence.  Successful on-line development and continued presence is heavily dependent on the hands-on involvement of firm leaders and other employees AND in a timely fashion. Too many folks want things to be done for them, instantly and perfectly ad preferably, without their having to hardly life a finger.  This is just not reality and successful firms understand this.  They appreciate the commitment and active participation it takes by each of their leaders in order to build and keep a great online presence.

10. Believe in and practice diversity within a positive work environment. Such attitudes and conditions are clearly evident from the firm’s morale, satisfied, interesting assortment of client types and healthy, upbeat employees – employees who are encouraged to take care of themselves, practice smart stress management and to live balanced lives.

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.  Williams.  I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife,  you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr.  Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.  He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state; not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women.  One of them was your wife.  Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney was left in complete shock and at a loss for words.

The judge pounded his gavel  loudly and ordered both counselors to approach the bench pronto.  And, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, I’ll charge you w/contempt of court and throw you in jail so quick you won’t know what hit you!”

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to email and let
you know about the small accident I had with the pick-up truck
when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately, it’s not too bad and
I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the
driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead
of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent, but the pick-up
fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kindhearted personality you will forgive me.

I also know your #1 concern is that I’m okay.

I am enclosing a picture for you.

From Your loving Wife

(Original Source/Author Unknown...but we thank you!)

P.S. YOUR GIRLFRIEND CALLED

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off.

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheer. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”  Well, in that case I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun.

So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant, and she preceded to the restroom.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom? “Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender, “Would you like a drink?”

But, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.

You see,” laughed the bartender, ”every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?”

A handwritten thank-you note is always appreciated and becoming a true rarity to receive in our electronic times.

Or, if more appropriate, how about taking the time to take them out to one of their favorite restaurants.  And, if that doesn’t seem to “fit,” here are a few more suggestions :

• a gift certificate from a nice restaurant or popular local store
• a basket of fruit or other goodies
• a flower arrangement or potted plant
• tickets to a sporting event
• contribution in their honor to a local charity or cause
• referring business their way whenever appropriate

The critical point is that is we fail to appreciate and express our appreciation for referrals sent our way, the nice folks sending us potential business will stop doing so.

Bottom Line: We can’t take our referral sources for granted or tell ourselves we’re just too busy to take the time to show our appreciation.  And, if we are too busy, then we’re too busy to accept the new business referrals as well!

• Make a list of all the things that cause you stress … then cross out all the stresses that you have no control over (e.g. someone’s personality, rush hour traffic, etc.) and start redirecting your energies to things you can do something about. Next, make a mini-action plan for each thing causing you stress that you can do something about and get started implementing your plan…today!

• Minimize time as best you can the time you MUST spend with the toxic people and situations in your life (Read my blog post on this very subject)

• Do a simple “Pros and Cons” / Good Stuff – Bad Stuff list for your job, your relationships, etc. Make sure that the Pros outweigh the Cons more often than the other way around….also think hard about the Cons and ask yourself if there’s not *something* you can do to get rid of them.  If the “cons” outweigh the “pros” repeatedly, it may be time for some tough, but needed decisions!

• Walk, work out at a gym, swim or whatever type of exercise you enjoy — just MOVE and do it often…Exercise is truly one of the best tranquilizers, de-stressors, pain killers and friends we have….stick with your exercise plan (make it doable and reasonable…even 10 minutes is a start and great for you!) for at least four weeks and then you should be hooked for life because of how much better you feel, look and handle life’s challenges.  Consider adding Yoga, Pilates and meditation to your busy lives.  Learn how to deep breathe correctly and do it often~  Even 1 minute of deep breathing can do wonders for us in the midst of our busy days (2 Minute Deep Breathing Audio)

• Remember: “Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is the *only* cash we have so we had best spend it wisely !!” (anonymous)

Prior Blog Post: Top 4 Tips for Managing Stress

1. Contact and choose an attorney sooner than later if you know or think you may need legal representation and/or advice.

2. Heed the tip above in #1 and yet also do your “homework” carefully.  Don’t select a law firm just because your best friend used them or you like their advertisements.  Search out the right one for you and your legal needs.  Seek references from trusted sources and try to “interview” at least two attorneys before making a final decision on retaining your attorney.  Give special attention to:

• Did they give you their undivided attention or seem distracted with other things while you talked with them?
• Did they answer your questions clearly and give you plenty of opportunity to ask them?
• Did they explain your discussions would be confidential even if you don’t retain their firm?
• Were their professional fees and what your out-of-pocket costs would be explained clearly?
• Did the staff greet you warmly when you arrived and treat you respectfully and professionally throughout your visit?
• Is the office easy for you to get to and what about parking access…safe, affordable, nearby, etc.?
• Was the office décor professional, but comfortable or was it overly pretentious?
• Could you clearly hear other conversations while in the attorney’s office that did not include you?  What about other confidential matters…could you see client names on files lying around?
• After meeting the attorney in person, what do your instincts say about him or her?  Make sure your frustration over having to seek legal advice in the first place isn’t being misinterpreted as your inner voice.  If you didn’t have this legal matter on your plate, do you feel the attorney has your best interests at heart, is good communicator and teacher?  If not, keep looking

3. Remember no employee can give legal advice unless they are licensed to practice law in your state. Yes, you can usually make contact with a staff member more quickly and you are usually not charged to talk with an employee, HOWEVER, they are NOT attorneys, CANNOT give legal advice and if they are true professionals, they will remind you of that each time you ask them a question that would require legal advice to answer.

4. Be yourself and relax as much as possible when meeting with your attorney.  Yes, they are the legal experts and you respect their legal expertise, BUT they are humans too and aren’t to be put on a pedestal because you think they are smarter than you (they are when it comes to legal matters most likely –  hopefully — but you are smarter than they are in other subjects no doubt). And, reversely, don’t assume from the onset that your lawyers can’t be trusted just because they are a lawyer and, therefore, the bunt of many lawyer jokes.   Trust is and should be the foundation of your entire attorney-client relationship. It can’t be demanded by either of you, however, as it must be earned. Be open and expecting a trusting relationship to develop and if you’ve chosen your attorney wisely and an ethical one, the trust will build quickly.

5. Don’t talk rudely to the staff.  They are not your hired punching bag and should be treated with the same respect you expect from them

6. If you have a legitimate gripe against your attorney, let him or her know that ASAP in an effort to get things back on track sooner than later. If you keep your concern to yourself or complain to any and everyone, but him or her, it will only grow and become far thornier and troublesome that it needs to be…not to mention your stress level over it.  Attorneys are human like you. They make mistakes and sometimes say or do the wrong thing.  Even the best of the best mess up occasionally with poor communications, over-promising too much to too many, etc.  Just don’t compound his or her oversight, miscommunication or other error by failing to talk directly and promptly with them about what’s bothering you.

7. When you call or meet with your attorney, be prepared!  Have your list of questions written down along with any key points you want to make sure to make clear to them during the conversation. And, take good notes…ask your attorney to also give you his/her written summary of your meeting including what was decided, who is to do what by when, etc.  Better yet, before leaving ask your attorney to give you a verbal summary of those same things so the chances of a miscommunication will be minimized.

8. Be a good listener!  While your attorney is talking, listen carefully and don’t be thinking about where you have to go after the meeting, your to do list or what you want to say next…just listen and listen carefully.  Think of this way, if you don’t have to keep asking the same questions over and over because of your poor listening skills, you WILL save money! And, that’s always a good thing!

9. Hold your attorney accountable to do what they promise to do and the time frame within which they assured you it would be done.  Ditto about your promises to get the firm documents or other materials and information they need for you to gather. Keep your word and do things in a timely fashion.  By the way, if your attorney repeatedly does not return your calls in a reasonable time or complete other things as promised, fire him or her and hire a new one.  When folks repeatedly apologize for their delays, but keep repeating the same actions or non-actions, their apologies mean zilch.  Yes, it’s that simple… so remember your time is just as valuable as your attorney’s and if they don’t value it or the promises made to you, don’t be scared to say “Goodbye” and find another one that will.

10. Just like I recommend in #6 above about letting your attorney know promptly if you are “miffed” over any thing ….. a big Ditto for letting them know what you appreciate them for  – things they and their employees have done for you that meant a lot (little things, big or in-between).

Yes, you’re paying them to do a job for you.  We are all human, however, and it does motivate attorneys and feel good to receive positive feedback from their clients.  Heavens know, we all are subject to the old saying: “When I’m right, who remembers and when I’m wrong, who the heck forgets!” And, sadly, there’s plenty of negativity and disparaging jokes from which to choose when it comes to the subject of attorneys these days.

Clients need their attorneys to take care of their legal needs in a positive and progressive manner.  Attorneys need their client to do their part in the same manner and this includes the occasional “Thank You” in the midst of it all.

You and your attorney are indeed a team during this chapter of your life — albeit not a fun situation to be in — I know that from personal experience and from observing what my wonderful clients during my years of practicing law.

Successful resolutions have the best chance of growing from teams where all members support each other 100%,  And, when they don’t do that, well… successful conclusions may result, but only by chance.

You are indeed a critical part of your legal team and just as valuable as all other team members.  Never forget that and do your part 100%,  If you’re unwilling to do so, then you certainly won’t have a legitimate gripe when you feel your attorney has let you down?

Your attorney will appreciate your efforts to be a productive team member, the resolutions will most likely be of a higher quality and come more quickly … and you and your attorney can always look back on a tough job well done…together.

When I practiced law, I certainly made some honest mistakes along the way, but my efforts to be ethical in all my dealings with clients and opposing counsel never faltered.  I could not and would not represent people I discovered were lying about the facts, whose claims had no genuine legal basis and whose primary motive was greed and without the slightest concern about the lives they were hurting, turning upside down and even possibly destroying.

Trust is the #1 essential foundation of an ethical and healthy attorney-client relationship and it must run both ways with the attorney trusting her client and the client trusting his attorney.   There’s no way an ABNO can trust his client that he KNOWS is a lying, greedy you-know-what.  And, I doubt many greedy, lying clients trust their attorneys either…it’s just not in their character to be trusting or to be trusted.

ABNO’s are obviously motivated by many of the wrong things including greed.  They lack integrity and they are cowards….greedy  and lacking integrity because they don’t care about ethics or integrity as long as they can make a buck….and cowards because they lack the courage to do the right thing and to say “No” when it is obviously the appropriate thing to do.

The latest attorney I have seen display the disgusting qualities of an ABNO has helped his greedy, lying clients destroy an entire family because of his own greed for the mighty dollar ….and because he lacked the courage to tell his clients that they were obviously misinformed, had no legal basis for their claims, were emotionally deficient and just plain wrong in their accusations.  Obviously, he is also lacking integrity and any ethical backbone. I assume he got his fee which had to be far less than the losses he helped create in the lives of others.  This attorney  – like other ABNO’s -  has demonstrated that  he could care less about the harm he has  helped to inflict on innocent parties (an entire family in this case) by his allowing, enabling and encouraging by his representation the charade of false claims to be alleged and given a life of their own.

Lawyer jokes are a dime a dozen, too few people trust attorneys and all too many lawyer fees (the big firms especially) are almost criminal in their excess.  In other words, our great profession just isn’t seen as that great in the eyes of many.   Some of the criticism and jokes thrown at attorneys is unfair and untrue.  Painfully,  however, far too much of it is true and “earned” by the sleazy NON-professionals within the profession.  ABNO’s are unprofessional to the core…they are indeed non-professionals….they take clients who have no regard for the truth, they take money to hurt others based on falsehoods, they craftily spin outright lies into veneer facts and they fuel the fires of the public’s distrust of the legal profession in general.

Thanks for “listening” as I work through my disgust with learning of yet another ABNO loose among us.  In case you didn’t know how I feel…I think ABNO’s are “inside system terrorists” that are continuously and unabashedly attacking the legal profession’s core integrity and professionalism.  I am proud to be a member of one of the world’s greatest professions…I am disgusted, however, to share the same right to practice law with ABNO’s and other sleazy so-called attorneys whose greed and unethical characters are hurting their clients, the legal system and countless innocent folks each and every day.

Rough times can sneak up on us with little or no warning or they can descend upon us after plenty of telltale signs that we chose to ignore.  Either way, every staff member–regardless of title — plays a key role when it comes to successfully surviving predicted and unexpected storms of change.

The starter list below includes ten essential staff “must do’s” in tough times (and in good times too for that matter!):

1. Fully comply with all risk management procedures and systems…remember ethic grievances and malpractice claims usually rise significantly during economic downturns.
2. If you have the authority to delegate to others, do it!  Quit thinking you can do it all by yourself or that you’re the only one that can do it right or worse, you’re scared another employee will do “it” better.  If you sport any of those attitudes, you’re wrong on all counts.
3. Say no when asked by attorneys to do a task that only a licensed lawyer should do.  Ditto when clients are asking you to give them legal advice.
4. Help your firm come up with cost-saving ideas and new steps to improve efficiency, up morale, enhance the quality of client services, and more. Suggest the firm start a monthly awards program to acknowledge employees’ cost-saving and other worthwhile ideas that are adopted (and better yet – actually implemented!)
5. Look for ways you and your co-workers can help each other in and out of the office. How about child or eldercare sitting for one another? Or, if you like to cook, prepare freezable meals for a co-worker’s family in exchange for their time to help you with carpentry projects, repainting a room, making hand-made gifts, etc.  If a co-worker has a special family activity they want to attend, help them with their work so they can leave early (even when the tasks are not a part of your job description).  Bottom Line Results: Morale soars (which means productivity does as well), help each other save money, and it just plain feels good to share our time and talents in helping others.
6. Be super empathetic regarding the extra stress on attorneys during tough times (e.g. the financial strain of making payroll when income is down, the loss of great employees from unavoidable down-sizing, retirement or resignations, etc.) and ditto re your co-workers.  Like you, your co-workers are feeling the strain of financially tough times as well or they may have other difficult situations occurring in their lives.  Be more tolerant of their occasional snappy moods assuming, of course, there are indeed legitimate reasons for their stress.  Back off a bit, don’t be too quick to jump to conclusions or to take things personally.
7. Share seminar materials and anything you learned that could benefit your firm and clients.  Summarize these “lessons” in a memo or better yet, get permission to conduct a luncheon workshop during which you re-teach a mini-version of seminars attended to co-workers.  Share any worthwhile handout materials that you believe the firm could benefit from using.  And, tell all attorneys and staff where the complete set of seminar handout materials will be kept in case they want to learn more.
8. Teach and share your talents and skills with co-workers.  Let go of competitive attitudes or fears that others may appear smarter than you.  Think instead about the value to everyone when there’s a team spirit atmosphere instead of “every man for him self” environment.
9. Mentor someone and make the time to be mentored!  We are never too experienced or old to learn new things, to be guided, to guide, to be coached, to coach, to be encouraged, to motivate.

10. Attitudes really are highly contagious so ask yourself often, “Is mine worth catching ?!” And, if your answer is “No,” immediately ask yourself why it’s not worth catching and begin all necessary attitude adjustments pronto!

The best of the best get slack occasionally, but during tough times we can’t afford that option – not if we want our firms (and our jobs) to survive.  Remember, manure with the right attention can be turned into fertilizer that helps beautiful things grow.  Likewise, the manure piles of our lives have the potential to produce silver linings as well.

I close with just a few of the silver linings law offices gain when tough times meet up with tougher legal teams:

• A team spirit atmosphere that is genuine — not just talked about in monthly meetings
• Improved efficiency and productivity
• Ongoing cost savings that make a big difference in the bottom line
• Thicker skins, fewer disputes, more empathy and understanding for co-workers
• An office environment that picks folks up instead of bringing them down
• Maximization of quality work product and minimization of stress
• Renewed energies
• Happier clients because of more efficient operations, more productive employees, persistent positive attitudes
• Jobs saved, bills paid, and the opportunity to continue doing work you love
• The you-earned-it pride and peacefulness of staying the course, making any changes needed and successfully surviving the storm.

Most of us would most likely agree that the stress, exhaustion and other fallout we suffer from toxic people can often stick with us long after the “exposure.”  So when we can’t avoid such situations and people altogether (always the preferred course of action!), it’s important that we at least minimize the negative effects.  This is important for many reasons with our mental health and the quality of our days being at the top of the list.  One way to do this is to prepare in advance a few constructive responses to the poisonous attitudes, remarks and looks of toxic folks.  This includes how we respond verbally with our words, physically with our body language and inwardly or how we let it affect us (and for how long).   Otherwise, we can get caught off guard even when we are  in those all too familiar negative situations we know from experience to expect with certain co-workers, relatives and other acquaintances.

Staying in the present moment is also critical to minimizing the stress caused by and harmful effects of negative people.  This means focusing on and truly living each moment at hand rather than remaining in the past or projecting too far into the future (i.e. brooding over past negative/toxic moments or fearing future ones).   Our efforts to successfully minimize and detoxify any negativity around us must be done with our full attention and confidence…neither of which can exist if we’re stuck mentally in the past or future.

Finally, we should ask ourselves often what personal habits or traits we should change or do differently.  Do we need an attitude adjustment, to rethink what our body language says with or without the help of our words?  And, what about how we speak — our tone — and choice of words?  A key question is what are we doing to fuel or enhance the toxicity of negative people?  Or worse, are we someone that others would describe as negative or toxic to be around?  It’s far easier to criticize what others are doing wrong than it is to identify, face and eliminate our bad habits or harmful ways of communicating.

Bottom line — before we can succeed at minimizing the stress brought upon us by toxic people, we must look into that painful mirror of truth, squarely face our need-to-improve characteristics and work hard on eliminating our own negative — maybe even toxic – attitudes and actions.  And, if we’re being brutally honest with ourselves, we all have plenty of room for improvement.

In summary:

• We should avoid toxic people or negative environments as best we can, but recognizing that isn’t always possible to do;
• We can decide and plan in advance how we are going to handle such moments constructively and proactively;
• By living and staying solidly in the present moment, we can reduce the stress caused by hanging onto past negative situations or fearing  more of the same in the future; and
• We should stay closely in touch with and minimize any negativity we may be bringing to the mix via our attitudes, actions, non-actions, tones or words

I love the saying (author unknown), “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns…or…rejoice because thorns have roses.”  We can complain endlessly about the stress caused by negative people in our lives or rejoice because we can take proactive and healthy steps to reduce the stress.

I’ve now been on Twitter about 10 months and it has been well worth my time and efforts.  And, I highly encourage all of my law firm and other business clients to use Twitter with a goal in mind, a willingness to build relationships and to offer something of value to their followers, and a willingness (and patience) to structure their use of Twitter so that it is indeed a worthwhile business endeavor and smart use of their time.

I personally spend a good amount of time each week looking for people to follow who share interests of relevance to my profession, my law office consulting work and my passion as a certified mediator for alternative dispute resolution.  I also devote a good deal of time deleting followers who are not offering the kinds of information I am seeking on Twitter or who are obviously only there to offer repeated “commercials” of their products or services.

I have also deleted some well known experts in their field because more of their tweets than not are about some game they’re watching or what they’re cooking for dinner…..that’s all well and good if that’s how you want to use Twitter, but  I prefer to follow folks who keep their  personal “stuff” to a minimum.  Yes, I, too, occasionally tweet about a personal event or matter, but it’s not often and I plan to keep it that way.  If I ever want to just talk about my trip to the mall, what one of my horses or miniature donkeys latest antics have been or other personal things, I will create a new Twitter account for that purpose only.  I also delete anyone who gives tips on how to get thousands of followers.  I believe that tweeters who allow everyone and anyone to follow them just to flaunt a high number of followers may have unaddressed insecurity issues.

Thanks to a Twitter posting today by @EmailCopywriter, I was led to a blog post written by Ken McCarthy entitled “Twitter Without the BS.” And therein lies the primary point of this blog post (finally!) …. Reading Mr. McCarthey’s blog post is well worth your time.  Well done, sir!  My twittering via @lawbusinesstips is for business and educational purposes.  Mr. McCarthy’s post has re-enforced my opinion and  Twitter experience to date that it is indeed an effective “tool” for the business-minded tweeter (including  law firms) if used wisely for your intended purposes.

Let me know what you think and as always, thanks for sharing part of your busy day at LawBusinessTips.com.

Are your workplace gripes fair and legitimate ones?

How long have you had this complaint?

Does your employer offer good guidance regarding how to handle conflicts in the workplace and what to do if you need help?

Would you be described more as a whiner by your co-workers or a person who proactively seeks fair resolutions?

What have you done to help with brainstorming about possible solutions to your current workplace complaints?

Want to be part of the solution and have another chance to demonstrate your leadership qualities and skills?

If so, then let me share the following policy and procedures with you for handling employee and other workplace related complaints.  I recommend this policy to all my clients and their employees.  Consistently, their results after implementing it have included: reduced stress for employees and management, faster implementation of needed changes, employees learning to think like managers, managers learning the value of  asking for their employees ideas and input more often, a drastic reduction in workplace non-productive griping behind closed doors and improved morale office-wide.

My recommended “Quit Griping, Start Resolving” Policy:

• Voice your concerns in writing…..create a first draft for-your-eyes-only that includes how you REALLY feel …… then shred it, rewrite until it is clear, succinct, professionally stated
• Include in this memo at least two possible, reasonable and affordable solutions that would be worthwhile resolutions for management/ leadership to consider
• Include a request that after the recipient has had time to review your memo and the situation that you would like to meet with them to discuss it further
• After delivering your concerns and resolution proposal to the appropriate supervisory person, place a reminder in your calendar to follow up with him or her in 1 week in case they haven’t responded by then
• Make sure you are not continuing to gripe about the issues addressed in your memo to others or continuing to stress over it yourself … you’ve done what you could to find a fair and workable resolution AND you’ve done so in a professional and productive manner

Employees — Realize that management may or may not adopt one of your solutions….once a decision is made, however, trust that the best decision for the firm or business as a whole has been made by leadership…and if trust is something you don’t have for management, that’s a much larger problem and it may be time for you to make a change

Employers –  If you implement this system and have employees who either refuse to participate or do participate and then STILL keep griping even after a resolution is applied, you may have what I call a “Killer Bee” on your hands!  This is that type of employee who chronically sports a bad attitude…loves to stir up trouble…always complaining, etc.  If you’ve given them every possible chance to make the necessary attitude adjustments and they don’t do it, get rid of them…no matter how great their skills may be, the morale killing fallout and other damages to their co-workers’ productivity, work quality and stress from their constant bad attitudes trump those talents.

The best part of my suggestions above is that you can try them even if the powers-that-be in your workplace don’t have a similar policy or worse, they offer no conflict resolution guidance or policies. This  method of how to handle workplace gripes has been successfully tried and proven many times by my clients through the years. Whether you can use bits and pieces of this conflict resolution policy or all of it, I’m for anything that helps us reduce the unproductive, morale busting fallout of unresolved tensions in the workplace.

Wishing you  work you love doing with minimal workplace gripes and with others who, like you, want to minimize the ugliness of the conflicts we humans are so good at generating.  And as always, thanks for sharing a part of your day with LawBusinessTips.com!

I believe strongly in the amazing results of each of these great “tools,” however, I must reread them often to ensure I am indeed taking advantage of what they offer in the midst of my busyness….it’s really amazing how often we ignore plain ol’ common sense “stuff” … but it always catches up with us when we do….okay…here they are, please savd a copy and re-read often and please share your additional top 3 or 4 stress management “tools” and tips via the comment section as well.

1. Make a list of 10-20 activities that you love to do (or would like to do one day) by yourself or with others.  Ask yourself: “How many of these favorite activities have I made time for in the past year?” If your answer is “Few or none and not often enough!”, then immediately make plans to do at least one of your favorite activities within two weeks or less.
2. Make a for-your-eyes-only list of all the things that cause you stress (big, small and in-between) … then cross out all the stresses that you have no control over (e.g. someone’s grating personality, rush hour traffic, etc.)  Next, make a mini-action plan for your top three stresses …this carry-in-your-pocket sized mini-action plan will include the steps you can/must take to eliminate or greatly diminish each stress listed….these won’t include the stresses we’ve listed, but truly have no control over changing….It will includes the ones that we can do something about.  Procrastination only heaps more stress on our plates (as we’ve all learned the hard way)….Be your own best friend and get started implementing your plan today!
3. Do a simple “Pros and Cons” / Good Stuff – Bad Stuff list for your job, your relationships, etc.  again (for your-eyes-only of course!).  After making and reviewing your list, ask yourself if the Pros outweigh the Cons more often than the other way around….also think hard about the Cons and ask yourself if there’s not something you can do to get rid of those negatives. And be mindful that if the “cons” outweigh the “pros” repeatedly, it may be time for some tough, but needed decisions.
4. Walk, work out at a gym, swim or whatever type of exercise you enjoy and can safely do — just MOVE and do it often…Exercise is truly one of the best tranquilizers, de-stressors, pain killers and friends we have….stick with your exercise plan (most important to make it doable and reasonable)…even 10 minutes is a start…commit to stick with your new exercise efforts for at least four weeks.  After the initial month or earlier,  you will most likely be hooked for life because of how much better you feel, look and are able to handle life’s challenges. Consider adding Yoga, Pilates and/or meditation to your busy lives. Personally, I incorporate 5-10 minute yoga sessions throughout the day…not an overwhelming commitment of time and I always return to my work or other activities feeling re-energized and far more relaxed.  Learn how to deep breathe correctly and do it often~ Even 1 minute of deep breathing can do wonders for us in the midst of our busy days.

In closing, one of my favorite sayings is: 

“Yesterday is a canceled check;

Tomorrow is a promissory note.

Today is the *only* cash we have so we had best spend it wisely !!” (anonymous)

Bottom line – We can keep burning ourselves out day in and day out or we can say, “Enough already!” and take full responsibility for our own mental and physical health.  If we are unwilling to do this then we should at least stop complaining about  the stresses in our lives (especially to others!) and be willing to accept any and all consequences that will ultimately result from burying our heads in the sand.  Thank goodness the choice is indeed ours to make.

Our Choice

Thanks as always for sharing a part of your day with LawBusinessTips.com.

Nancy

(Note: No Order of Priority Intended….I Consider All These Red Flags as Needing ASAP Attention!)

(c) Nancy Byerly Jones 2010 

• Excessive/chronic telephone & email message pileups
• Regular client/customer complaints about unreturned telephone calls
• Trying to keep up with it all without short hot list (“cheat sheet” or “road map”) re highest priorities for each day or week
• Keeping clients waiting for service/meetings too long (and too often!)
• Refusing to change outdated, inefficient habits, systems, policies
• Holding irregular or non-productive employee/staff meetings
• Offering too little or no effective training
• Treating employees arrogantly, disrespectfully, rudely
• Chronic disorganization, do-it-at-the-last minute chaos
• Failing to assign priorities to employees’ tasks/cases/projects
• Unclear or incomplete instructions to employees/customers
• Failure to properly supervise fairly, consistently, resourcefully
• Insufficient file documentation (e.g. no client engagement agreements, signed customer contracts)
• Disorganized, sloppy files and paper management (or lack thereof!)
• Failing to keep clients/customers/employees timely informed
• Unexplained and excessive absences
• Refusal to learn and use appropriate technology tools
• Not teaching all employees how to be effective (and willing!) marketers 24/7
• Failure to realize receptionists are Marketers of First & Last Impression
• No long range plan for office/business/firm
• Poor personal care (e.g. no exercise, unhealthy diet, no vacations)
• Excessive reliance on employees for things only supervisors should do
• Too many personal calls, Twittering, Facebooking and/or emails
• Failing to maintain own work and personal calendars
• Poor team player (e.g. “What’s in it for me?” attitudes)
• Failure to show every employee he or she is valued and needed team member (or worse, not purging team of unnecessary, improperly placed employees
• Competitive attitude with partners/other managers/principals/everyone!
• Behind-the-back talker about other employees
• Sloppy time manager
• Failing to talk fully and clearly about costs/charges/fees with clients/customers
• Excessive drinking or other substance abuse
• Flirting or otherwise sexual harassment
• Allowing personal relationships to influence business decisions
• Rubber-stamping employee’s work product without careful review
• Angry, hostile attitudes – bullying of any kind
• Inconsistent and/or unfair enforcement of policy & procedures
• Works with “cloud” overhead; brings and leaves trails of negativity
• Stretches the truth, frequently misleads or outright liar

DANGER SIGNALS – EMPLOYEES

(Note: No Order of Priority Intended….I Consider All These Red Flags as Needing ASAP Attention!)

 (c) Nancy Byerly Jones 2010

• “I’m here just for a paycheck” attitudes
• “It’s not my office/business so why should I worry about mistakes, sloppy work, disgruntled customers/clients, etc.”
• Unprofessional, rude or otherwise improper telephone manners
• Chronic, excessive complaining
• Trouble sticking to task
• Refusal to learn and use appropriate technology tools
• Talks spirit of cooperation with co-workers, learning new systems/procedures while actions prove otherwise
• High-schoolish behind-the-back gossiping re co-workers and others to other employees
• Frequent bad moods (e.g. brings and leaves behind a negative aura in the workplace)
• Poor team player (e.g. “What’s in it for me?” attitude)
• Overly defensive with constructive criticism or mistakes made
• Chronically messy, disorganized work area
• Poor personal care (e.g. no exercise, unhealthy diet, no vacations)
• Excessive, repeated errors
• Frequent absences
• No interest in continuing education or self-improvement opportunities
• Flirtatious behaviors, sexual harassment
• Personal relationships with customers/clients
• Sloppy work product
• Failure or refusal to follow directions
• Disregard for protecting confidential client/customer information (e.g. loudly discussing client matters within earshot of other clients, third parties, carelessly leaving confidential materials in common areas)
• Frequent filing errors and/or habit of allowing documents needing to be filed to pile up
• Never willing to “go the extra mile” for company/firm
• Frequent delays, endless excuses in completing assignments
• Failing to create and follow priority task lists
• Treating customers/clients as unwelcome interruptions to their work
• Failure to follow through (i.e. ensuring all enclosures in envelope, keeping supervisors properly updated, etc.)
• Unprofessional, sloppy or otherwise inappropriate attire for office
• Excessive visiting with other employees during working hours
• Too many personal calls, Twittering, Facebooking and/or emails
• Frequent tardiness including extended breaks and lunch hours
• Chronic “It’s 5:00 I’m out of here” attitudes
• Repeated refusal to follow company/firm policies & procedures

If multiple danger signals are being ignored by the powers- that-be, then there’s no doubt that productivity and resulting profits, a positive workplace morale and quality control and risk management efforts have a high potential of becoming as frozen as the 7′ icicle shared here.  This 2010 granddaddy of an icicle finally succumbed to warmer temps and overdue sunshine.  We all need to ensure the timely and complete meltdown of any repetitive negative behaviors in our offices…putting our heads in the sand dilutes our efforts to build solid and lasting success stories for our clients/customers, our firms/businesses and ourselves.

Please add to these starter lists via your comments and as always, many thanks for visiting LawBusinessTips.com.  Wishing you a great rest of the day in spite of any jerks or lousy situations that try to mess it up!

Nancy

Wag More. Bark less.

Never miss a good opportunity to just shut the heck up!

The bee is such a busy soul…there is no time for birth control.  And that is why in times like these, there are so many Sons of Bees!

Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall be forever amused!

And finally…take time out to play this week in spite of all the legitimate reasons you may have for being too busy…love watching our 4-legged family members at play (see recent post of 2 of our geldings below..they didn’t let a little snow stop them from a fun romp outside)

Have a great week everyone!

With smiles from my neck of the woods to yours,

Nancy

Tips on office sharing and executive suites  (from chapter in ABA/Law Practice Management’s Flying Solo, Edition 4 Publication)

Other questions?  Either leave a comment or email me at nbj@nbjconsulting.com and I will be happy to respond as soon as possible. You may optionally use the Contact Nancy Byerly Jones form.

1. An ongoing effort to improve management and leadership skills including having the most qualified (vs. most senior, etc.) leaders at the helm
2. Creating written action plans, monitoring them regularly and holding everyone timely accountable to do their part
3. Taking the need to market the firm seriously and doing it in ways right for the firm and its goals
4. Treating all employees and partners respectfully at all times (including treating/training/renaming receptionists as your primary “Marketers of First & Last Impression”)
5. Being decisive and avoiding the poisons of sticking our heads in the sand and/or procrastination
6. Offering adequate, timely and quality training, performance and attitude evaluations and coaching wherever needed (e.g. new software/equipment, stress or anger management, organizational skills, associate development, substantive law skills, etc.)
7. Defining success by what’s best/right for firm, its people, goals and culture vs. merely adopting society’s or traditional legal system definitions
8. Treating each client as if they were their only and/or best client & giving them multiple ways to offer their feedback and recommendations
9. Embracing technology with foresight, ethics, resourcefulness, creativity and perseverance for the learning curves
10. Diversification in areas of practice, clients, mindsets and employees

Sampling Characteristics of Not-So- Successful Firms in 2009:

1. Not doing one or more of the top ten success steps above
2. Failing to quickly put an end to office bullying, harassment and other ongoing negative behaviors/attitudes
3. Leaders in name only (e.g. with lousy leadership characteristics and skills)
4. Surviving day by day instead of charting, implementing and sticking with a plan for achieving long range goals
5. Failing to make timely, tough and wise changes needed in light of economic and other changing circumstances
6. Allowing negative attitudes and talking behind backs
7. Poor hiring/interviewing/training skills and systems
8. Lousy risk management systems or a failure to mandate compliance by all employees
9. Lousier stress management and office morale
10. Poor/sloppy client selection

1. Having to carry that ol’ imaginary shovel around b/c of all the phoniness and BS in this ol’ world
2. Folks who are always late and who apologize (again and again) for their tardiness without any intention of acting on their empty apologies
3. Veneer people – no substance – the only thing that’s real is their fakeness (including religious hypocrites)
4. Relatives and “friends” who say ‘I care about you” when their repeated actions show just the opposite
5. Self-absorbed, me,me,me first people – why do so many of them think we don’t know that about them?!
6. Whiners – period!
7. Toxic personalities that ensure unpleasantness when around them and who leave a really bad taste in one’s mouth long after they’re gone
8. Doctors, lawyers and other professionals who talk down to others without ever really listening to what others say to them
9. Women who wouldn’t be caught dead looking less than perfectly (and unnaturally) made up, are scared to death of chipping their nail polish and who like to give we frumpier sorts a holier-than-thou once over (guess who’s more comfortable in their clothes and their skins!?!)
10. Overloading my schedule to burnout proportions…really irritating to know I did “this” to myself due to a failure to say “No” and poor planning

Top Ten Things That Energized Me  in 2009:

1. Exercise & healthier diet
2. Being around sincere people with positive attitudes
3. My consulting work, fantastic clients, and serving as a mediator helping to keep folks out of the courtroom, finding closure to conflict and moving on with their lives
4. Our 4-legged family members (5 beautiful horses, 9 heehawing donkeys, 3 Biiiigggg dogs, and 1 very tough cat)
5. Helping others especially when they didn’t know it
6. Inspirational stories of survival, perseverance, courage
7. Reading good books
8. Quiet, renewing stillness, time for nurturing my spirituality
9. The instant calming of the majesty of oceans and mountains
10. Being true to myself and hanging on tight to a positive attitude in spite of the endless parade of people and situations tempting me otherwise!

A very Happy New Year to all and my best wishes that 2010 brings you all that you need in good moments, health, lessons, strength and peace ~

Nancy

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know low morale = stressed employees = a lower quality of work product including more mistakes are made.  Management and leadership who fail to put a stop to workplace bullying of any sort often bury their heads even further in the sand these employees just happen to be major income producers.

Bottom line is this — if verbal violence and other bullying behaviors are not stopped in their tracks, there is an obvious absence of smart, effective and progressive leadership.  In my opinion, this makes leadership and management as guilty as the actual bullies are for causing the resulting and ongoing widespread negative effects.  Thanks for “listening” as always and let me know if you want me to tell you how I really feel!

All the Best,

Nancy

And as everyone knows, you have plenty of down time while sitting in a hospital or doctor’s waiting room.  You also have more than normal reading and people-watching time and moments of reflection (including self-reflection) that we may not normally carve out for ourselves.  You meet and talk with absolute strangers who also find themselves within the same hospital or clinic walls– walls that force-insulate us from the rushing around going on just short distances from where we sit .. and wait.  Five holiday related questions keep returning to my thoughts … finally, I realized why …. because they are questions worth my reflection and more important, corrective actions where needed. They include:

1. Why do so many people allow themselves to get so stressed out and down right exhausted each holiday season?  Why do we feel the need to accept every single holiday invitation we and our kids get and then jam up our days trying to do it all?  We complain about how commercial the holidays have become, but how many of us are active participants smack dab in the middle of evil commercialism’s target markets?  Are we willing to stop the “train” so to speak and if not, can we at least STOP complaining about holiday stress!?

2.  Why do we keep letting certain people get under our skin at family and office gatherings?  Worse, are we harboring the negativity from such unpleasant encounters long after they’re actually over?  If so, why … when we have the final say regarding who or who doesn’t get to affect our emotions.  Staying totally focused on the moment we’re living is an extremely effective way to move beyond these types of self-destructive old habits; habits that leave us wallowing in bad (and PAST!) memories and fretting over future (and unguaranteed) moments.

3. Why are we worrying about whether our gifts for others cost enough?  If our recipients are true friends and loving family members, they shouldn’t  care, should they? Then why do we fret

4. Are we celebrating anything other than our survival of yet another holiday season? If Christmas or Hanukah, for example, have religious significance to us, are we merely going through the motions of attending church or synagogue instead of truly taking the unhurried time to reflect upon, honor and celebrate these holy days?

5. Of all the gifts purchased so far, how many gifts of our time, ourselves have been shared this holiday season with the sick, the needy or the lonely? What about in-between our holiday seasons?

Thanks sharing a few minutes of your busy day with me.  I wish you good health, moments of stillness and healthy reflection and, of course, a very happy heart,

P.S. Just as I was putting final touches on this post, I got an unexpected “gift” which was a pleasant call from a not-so-pleasant acquaintance!  Will practice my own advice and celebrate and appreciate this truly rare moment indeed (see my “Holiday Health Check“ post on enjoying the happy moments and ignoring the yukky ones).

All the Best,

Nancy

(1)  How do we feel…happy, relaxed or totally overwhelmed, bleary eyed and sleep deprived, no time to think?

(2)  Is part of this because we aren’t making the time for our normal exercise breaks, healthy eating and just pure decompression moments?

(3)  Do we have a good plan written down (and/or easily accessible in our mobile phone notes) so we can review it often for getting through the holidays sanely and happily instead of flat out exhausted and frustrated?

If not, mini-action plans can be huge “cheat sheets” for us and road maps to survival.  Such a plan can be as simple as listing your priorities and beside each of them, making a list of what needs to be done to complete it, by when and by whom.  And for all of us “list” people, it’s worth creating such a mini-action plan for the shear enjoyment alone of crossing out things as we get them done….you list folks know what I mean!

The time to make the holidays less stressful and exhausting is now…not after they’ve come and gone and we end up swearing (again) that next year will be different.  So, just like double-checking the progress of your work week’s priorities on Wednesday to ensure you’re “on schedule,” mid December is a great time to re-assess how we’re handling this year’s holiday frenzy.  If we’re not doing too well, then let’s cut the losses and rethink how we could improve things….not what others could do to make things better,….but what we can and will do to redirect ourselves in more positive directions.

Finally and in closing, you may want to check out my pre-Thanksgiving post, Celebrating Great Holiday Moments….Ignoring the Not So Great. It really is true that usually we don’t remember entire days, only moments of our lives….I hope you will take a moment right now to be brutally honest with yourself and think about how you are handling the holidays…are you  enjoying them or just barely surviving them? Are you spreading good cheer or leaving a trail of complaints and negatives behind you wherever you go?   Hopefully, you are enjoying the spirit and fun of the holidays to the fullest so far …but if not, now’s the best time for all of us to plug the leaks and regroup….When December 31 rolls around, I hope we can all say there were far more good holiday moments this year than not so good … thank goodness we’re in full control of our attitudes and actions because those two little “A” words determine the of quality of our moments during the holidays and every day!

Thanks for Visiting & Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, etc!

Nancy

The"Ends"

This pet peeve of mine is right up there with women who complain they aren’t treated as professionally as the men in their offices while at the same time strutting around in thigh-high skirts and “show ‘n tell” tops!  There’s a place and time for sexy clothes, voices and more (by men and women), but IMHO, there’s just no excuse for them in our professional offices.  I also firmly believe it severely dilutes all other efforts made by these women to be treated and accepted as professionals.  Actually, and again IMHO… it hurts all women in the workforce.

We all have our unique quirks, opinions and preferences, but you will never convince me that intentional sexy attire and mannerisms increase productivity, efficiency or morale…..it may improve the visual environment (and other senses) for some, but in my professional opinion, the multiple “costs” of allowing such antics in the workplace far outweigh any of the “benefits/perks” it offers a few.  And, don’t try to convince yourselves that such attire and voice mail greetings are tolerated only because clients like it.  When all is said and done, clients want excellent professional services, respectful and timely treatment and a genuine interest in their legal, accounting or other professional needs….of course, many clients will enjoy such “sights” and flirtations, but I assure you that won’t be a dominant factor in what cements their overall client satisfaction, prompt payments, loyalty, referrals and repeat business.  And, if that’s one of a law firm’s or other professional firm’s primary (and usually unspoken) marketing “tools,” they most likely have a lot bigger challenges that addressing.  I’m not blind to reality… I know sex sells…. all too many commercials use it to get our attention ….BUT…no one has yet convinced me that “it” has a proper and productive place in the law office or other professional office.

OK, I’m done…just had to get this off my chest (great choice of words,  eh?).

Thanks for “listening” and allowing me to vent a bit…wishing all of you a great week, many smiles received and many more shared,

Nancy

( Miz Star from our miniature donkey family sharing her smile with you)

• Rules applied sporadically and unfairly among employees (e.g. starting time, length of lunch breaks, # of vacation days)
• An ongoing frantic pace — day after day — caused primarily by a supervisor’s poor planning and organizational skills … leadership should step in sooner than later to coach, train and/or mentor these folks….of which the legal profession and many others have a costly excess!
• Guilt trips over personal, sick or vacation time taken (see NBJ 2002 Lawyers USA column on how vacation policies …and attitudes… mirror a firm’s culture)
• Thinking that “real” lawyers always work a 60+ hour week and lacking the wisdom to understand that the most productive and satisfied employee lives a balanced and healthy life style (e.g. In addition to encouraging healthy behaviors, consider providing an exercise room for employees — even a small one with one treadmill and an aerobics workout video is better than none — and 10 minutes of exercise can rejuvenate energy levels far better than pouring on the caffeine)
• Frequent start/stops of promised (and needed) changes — too often not completing projects begun
• Allowing tensions or outright conflicts between partners or other employees to go unresolved for an unreasonable length of time (If they refuse to resolve their differences in a timely and responsible manner, firm leadership should mandate a resolution via the use of a firm ombudsman, mediator or the like — Every employee should have access to excellent resources such as Stewart Levine’s 2nd Edition of Getting To Resolution – eye-opening, thought-provoking and packed with simple and wise conflict resolution tips)
• Little or no constructive feedback given to employees in a timely manner
• Assuming staff have no personal plans after normal working hours and that they will always work overtime on short notice (the poison to morale of this culprit escalates in direct relation to poor planning and/or procrastination by supervising personnel)
• Acceptance by leadership of loud, abrasive, demeaning and other bully like behaviors
• A noticeable lack of common courtesies shown to employees (Good Morning greetings, showing appreciation, etc.)
• An absence of well deserved bonuses from cash to creative “Job Well Done” gifts (e.g. childcare fees paid for a week, dinner and other gift certificates, “free” personal days off, firm-wide recognition for achievements, etc.)
• Not holding regular staff meetings and if they are held, failing to give it our full, undivided attention (e.g. no looking at our watches or mobile phones, no shuffling of files around on our desks, etc.)
• Attorneys not taking the time to personally introduce staff members who will be working on the case to new clients
• Expecting top notch work quality produced at a 90 mph pace in spite of outdated equipment and software, unclear instructions, and/or insufficient training
• Romantic relationships between supervisors and subordinates giving the presumption — if not the actuality of –  unfair advantages for the participating employee
• Never (or too rarely) sending employees to appropriate work-related seminars or workshops for training and networking purposes
• Not providing the right kind and adequate amounts of training needed for new software, systems, etc.
• Talking negatively about employees (directly or within earshot) to other employees
• Failing to put an end to an employee’s chronically negative attitude either through mentoring, discipline or termination (firing should, of course, be the last resort after all other reasonable efforts to correct the situation)
• All work 24/7 day after day after day….Never making the time for non-work related group activities (e.g. sporting events, cookouts, community group volunteer projects)

A few Morale Boosters include:

• Not allowing any of the above morale busters or others to exist in your office; and …
• when they or other morale busters do occasionally show up, acting quickly and decisively to rid your office of these progress, morale and productivity thieves

Happy Weekend everyone and I hope you go into work on Monday ready to try out some new morale boosters! We all function far better in a positive environment regardless of our type of work, title or years of service.   As always, thanks for visiting my blog.

Nancy (& Jessie, our resident Tennessee Walker comedian!)

And so we must cherish all the good moments of our holidays and give them the highest priority in our memory banks. Better yet, after duly noting any lessons to be learned from our unpleasant life experiences, we benefit tremendously (mentally and physically) from assigning  our bad memories a permanent “time out” status.  In fact, deep breathing myself back into the present moment and living each one fully are among my most valuable stress management “tools.”  I count on these “tools” when I get stuck dwelling on painful past memories or unproductively worrying about the future.  Don’t get me wrong …. planning ahead wisely is a worthwhile endeavor….unproductive worrying, however, is costly.  It costs us the moments at hand, stress and usually resolves nothing … unproductive.

This familiar quote rings so true with me …..”We don’t remember days…we remember moments.” So with another holiday season upon us, I will be looking for and cherishing all the good moments that occur with family and friends and I will refuse to let the not-so-good ones dampen my spirits. How about you?

Nancy

With all that said, my husband and I do pretty good at making room for mini-breaks in our lives even if only for a fleeting few minutes or hours.  Still, we allowed  too many years to slip by before we took our an extended break from the world.  We tried to get away in 2008 but our house sitter fell through at the last minute (which meant a painful vacation rental deposit forfeiture in addition to the disappointment of it all…Grrrrrr).

Back to our recent “escape” from reality…. for 11 days, it was just the two of us…no work travels, no client calls, no horses, donkeys, dogs, cats to feed, tend to, no tense or toxic communications to survive…in other words, none of the normal twists and turns of our busy lives (Okay..I admit I did a little bit of twittering and email replying but it was truly a very little for me!).  And our vacation was truly wonderful from start to finish…perhaps the vacation life style we lived would be boring to many people as we didn’t run ourselves to death trying to see the sights, try out new restaurants or other typical vacation activities for many……we just stayed put as “they” say.  With the ocean as our backdrop, we hunkered down with plenty of food, books, good music, rocking chairs and movies.  TV was an option but was rarely turned on.  Ditto re my laptop.  It was quiet, restful, healing, uplifting and basically like one long, slow 11-day deep breath! Excuse the redundancy, but it truly was a rare and greatly appreciated “time off for good behavior” for both of us.

My wish for you — If you’re like us, you have a zillion excuses of why you can’t take an extended vacation.  I encourage you to re-ponder this one.  I admit it can be a pain in the ol’ wazoo making all the decisions regarding just HOW you’ll pull it off, where and when to go, finding a way to do it within tight budgets, coordinating house sitters, if needed, for  indoor pets, (and barn sitters for horse and donkey nuts like us), planning ahead work-wise, packing,loading, unpacking, unloading, etc., etc….but as we again learned, it is SO worth the effort.

For 11 blissful days, we were able to reacquaint and renew our bonds with ourselves and each other without the normal interruptions and diversions of our busy lives…. we had un-rushed moments to better reflect upon this wonderful journey on earth called life, the good and not-so-good people relationships in our lives,  important decisions-t0-be-made that were on our plate….to read books some of which had been in our to-be-read piles for years….to talk and walk together in conversation or silence…..to just be still.

One of my recent posts about the potential consequence of health care procrastination coupled with this one reflects my personal efforts during 2009 at ending at least some of my unwise procrastination habits.  Most of us are experts when it comes to procrastination from years of honing our delay tactic skills.  By the way, a great book on this subject was written many years ago by Dr. Linda Sapadin…while I haven’t read any of her newer books (again, procrastination’s my only excuse), I suspect they are as worthwhile to read as her first book, It’s About Time
The 6 Styles of Procrastination and How to Overcome Them. To this day, I recommend this book to my clients and seminar groups.  It is well written and as an aside, I decided I was guilty of practicing all 6 style of procrastination as described by Dr. Sapadin…I read it initially merely as an additional resource for my clients and workshop groups…and as many of these folks would tell you how it did indeed help them…however, it ended up being a very wise book for me to read for personal reasons and I highly recommend it to you.

I encourage you to do a private self-audit of any areas of your professional and personal life where your delayed health, relationship and/or stress management procrastination may be playing with fire so to speak.  We know when we are about to hit bottom or are in the midst of burnout whether we admit it to others or not or worse, we try to deny it ourselves.  And we know when we are flirting dangerously with ignored health matters and/or vacation deprivation.  I love being with family and friends, I am blessed with a career and business nurtured from my passions, I find peace  and comfort from the outside world within the loving arms of family and the joys of living on a small ranch with our sweet herd of 4-legged family members …BUT…still my husband and I needed a break – big time!  We all do…..breaks from all the good things in our lives and certainly from the not-s0-good …. time to de-stress, be still, play …. time to renew ourselves, our attitudes and our souls.

If this is an area of your life that might need more attention and less procrastination, then I wish you all the best as you make “it” happen.

With wishes for  plenty of “rocking chair” moments,

Nancy

Worse, it is demoralizing to be fussed at by doctors for not having sought medical assistance sooner…they look down at you with their parental-like “You know better” looks.  It stings even more when you know they are 100% correct!  Not to mention, if it’s sympathy you’re after…you get far less, if any, when you have made things worse from your poorly-thought-out delays in getting needed medical attention!

My intended primary point with today’s ramblings? Stop, don’t pass go to collect $200, immediately cease and desist from ALL your  excuses and  ASAP  get the medical check-ups or tests you may have been putting off. We know what we need to do.  In the extreme, your life could very well depend on it and the consequences of our procrastination – minor or major -  can dangerously increase over time.

Many of us are very experienced and quick to tell our clients, potential customers, family members, friends and others what THEY need to do.  And yet, at the same time, we are downright careless and — excuse me — plain stupid, regarding our personal health matters (myself included).  We lie to ourselves by saying that we don’t  have time to stop our busy lives to seek medical care or we don’t  like being the patient so we avoid it altogether (until we have no choice that is) and/or or we are just plain scared to know the truth.

Whether  a medical issue, self-improvement efforts are needed or both, we are indeed usually lots smarter than our over-rehearsed procrastinatory actions would indicate.  We’ve just allowed our common sense to become uncommon when it comes to taking care of ourselves.

Let’s allow our common sense to reign again, quit with the denials and excuses and become far more proactive (and timely!) when it comes to taking care of ourselves.  No, it’s not the “fun” part of this wonderful journey called life, but an essential one and we know it.

And finally, once we’ve gotten off our duffs and sought out the help needed, we must keep open minds and explore all the options out there as to how to “fix” whatever needs fixin’ (e.g. western medicine options, alternative medicine resources, a combination of the two, second/third opinions, etc.). Again, isn’t it common sense to be an educated and proactive part of our medical solutions?  Unless time is truly of an essence in a life and death situation, we probably shouldn’t accept the first pill, procedure or other option suggested.  We must be our own best friends and make the effort to educate ourselves about our condition, illness, etc., explore all of our options carefully, seek out multiple trusted opinions and then take the quiet time needed to decide on the best course of action for us.  Our final decision may not be what our friends or family members would do, but we must find the courage to do what we think is the right course of action.

Thanks for visiting.  May your busy week be filled with lots of heartfelt smiles in the midst of it all – — those given to you and those you share with others.

With smiles from my neck of the woods to yours,

Nancy

What's Your Brand?

Below are the initial sentences of a succinct and excellent blog post at www.biziboom.com by attorney Scott Gibson.  I encourage all my readers and clients to read and reread this well-written post on such a critical subject for us all.  If you’re on Twitter, don’t miss Mr. Gibson’s great tweets as well (@tradesecretlaw).

Everybody Has a Brand. What’s Yours?

Marketing experts talk about the need to develop your brand.  The process often sounds daunting, and you may wonder whether you should spend the time and money to brand your business.

Wonder no more.  You already have a brand…..(click here for Mr. Gibson’s full blog post…worthwhile reading that you will be glad you did!)

Thanks for stopping by and please give me and our readers the benefit of your comments, ideas and valued input.

All the Best,

Nancy

Copied below is a somewhat altered version of my September  ‘09 Lawyers USA column.  It is a further expansion (and more polished!) of my 8/25/09 post on greed and unresolved disputes.  Let me know what you think, what you’d add or disagree with and best wishes for a wonderful (and safe) upcoming Labor Day weekend.  And, oh yes…if you’d like to see other columns and quotes of mine in Lawyers USA, click here.  While visiting their site, I hope you can take some time to explore all the good materials and ideas it continues to offer attorneys and staff.

Preventing Partnership (and Family!) Implosions Before It’s Too Late

All too often we hear about law firms or extended families that find themselves in the midst of highly emotional, extremely costly and messy disputes. These conflicts can be over a lot of little things or fallout from a major disruption, such as a dishonest partner or estate-related jealousies or greed following the death of a beloved family member.

In many family situations, outsiders would have never predicted that anything or anyone – including greed – could trump a seemingly loving family’s loyalty to one another.  And yet some families are torn apart by greed, a lack of healthy communications and in some cases, raw desperation in tough times.  The same is true for many law firm partnerships that to outsiders appear successful and well run by a united leadership team.  We’ve all seen, however, too many partnerships implode in spite of the partners’ prior loyalties to one another, their shared professional bonds, complementary skills or many years of working together.

We must never underestimate the damage that can be caused by greed, desperation,deceit, assuming a conclusion BEFORE having all the factsw and deficient or misunderstood communications.  Nor should we discount the damaging fallout spread through a family or law office due to longstanding, unresolved disputes. And unfortunately, challenging economic times can make these destructive scenarios more likely.

Below are a few “starter” tips (far from all-inclusive) to consider when extended family or partner disputes arise.  They may not always help prevent the ultimate dissolution of a firm or family unit. They have proven, however, to help sparring parties move toward a timely resolution that allows everyone to get on with their lives without lasting bitterness, the scarring of permanent anger or the waste of yet more time due to destructive behaviors:

(1) If you have an “issue” or disagreement with a partner or family member, don’t bury your head in the sand or otherwise procrastinate. Squarely face the conflict. Talk things over sooner rather than later. Keep civil, respectful discussions moving forward for as long as it takes to find a fair resolution, to find better and productive ways to communicate and to salvage relationships worth holding onto.

(2) Search for and find the real facts. To not do so means you may be unknowingly (or in some cases very knowingly!) relying upon malicious gossip, incorrect and/or possibly intentionally false information.

(3) When discussing the disputed issues, ensure your imaginary “thick skin” is on at all times so as to maximize a continuing progress towards resolution and to minimize any emotional meltdowns (including the spewing of words you may later regret).

(4) Give any and all discussions your undivided attention; no multitasking, displays of impatience (including negative body language!) or any other actions that indicate you have more important priorities than finding a fair resolution.  Consistently be an active listener. Be willing and open to hear and try to understand the other side’s perspective. Commit to keeping an open mind and acting with class and respectfulness toward all. This commitment must be ongoing and steadfast as everyone works their way through the painful, unpleasant and sensitive issues that need to be addressed and resolved.

(5) If you feel you lack the emotional stability and/or necessary communication skills to work patiently and steadfastly toward resolution, then hire a third party neutral such as a mediator. The right facilitator can help you navigate through the waters of awkwardness, miscommunications, false impressions, the pain of conflict and/or the points of strong disagreement.

(6) Bring in other facilitators or experts to assist with the process when their expertise would be helpful to the process (e.g. accountants, human resource managers, communication coaches).

(7) Understand that if you do choose to handle conflicts disrespectfully, hastily or harshly without getting all the facts and trying to resolve all disputes in a fair and respectful manner, there will no doubt be long term negative consequences – many of which you may never have anticipated.

Through my years as an attorney, mediator, law office advisor, management consultant and plain ol’ southern gal I have seen firsthand what runaway greed and unresolved conflicts can do to a law firm, family or business. It’s never pretty, always costly and there are truly no winners. We can, however, minimize the risks of costly litigation and the tragic repercussions of destroyed families, friendships and long-term professional relationships. We can do so by timely addressing our conflicts – whether big or small – wisely, honestly, calmly and respectfully. This is easier said than done, but so worth our courage, time and honest efforts.

(c) Nancy Byerly Jones 2009

Far too many business and law firm partnerships go the same route unfortunately.   We must never underestimate the dark side of the greenback (e.g. greed and/or desperation) or longstanding unresolved disputes both of which seem to raise their devastatingly destructive heads even more often in the midst of  tough economic times.  It is indeed tragedy over tragedy when partners or families experience the ugliness and wide-ranging “costs” (financial and otherwise) generated by plain ol’ greed or the failure to timely and civilly settle our disagreements or misunderstandings.

Listed below are a few tips regarding family or partner disputes that are on my mind as I write this late night blog:

(1) if you have an “issue” or disagreement with a partner or family member, talk it over sooner rather than later AND with your imaginary “thick skin” on so as to minimize emotional eruptions and progress stoppers.  In other words, go directly to the source vs. depending on often malicious rumors or incorrect/false information.  Give these discussions your undivided attention and commit to acting with class and respect as you work through the painful issues that must be addressed.

(2) if you don’t have the emotional stability or necessary communication skills to work toward resolution with all concerned parties then hire a third party neutral such as a mediator to help you navigate through the waters of awkwardness, miscommunications, false impressions, the pain of conflict and/or points of strong disagreement; and

(3)if you choose to handle family or partner conflicts disrespectfully, hastily or harshly (without first trying to do really get to the truth of the matter or to resolve things in a fair and respectful manner) then brace yourself.  There will be consequences and fallout for there WILL be long lasting consequences as a result of your choices and actions. many of which you may never have anticipated.

I address this subject from my perspective as a mediator, former practicing attorney, and southern gal who has seen firsthand what runaway greed and unresolved conflicts can do to a  law firm, family or business.  It’s never pretty, always costly and there are no winners.

All the Best,

Nancy

The ABA used to have some good books on mergers and if they’ve been updated recently, that would be one good source.  What’s not written about enough is the effects that mergers have on staff members and how to help your staff transition successfully (pre-merger, actual transition period and post-merger). You’ve probably already discussed this w/your client but if not I’d suggest that one of their primary goals be to keep in close touch w/their employees, get their input regularly re how merger is going for them, what’s working/what’s not, their suggestions on improving whatever needs attention, etc.  Also like to see firm-wide attorney/staff meetings held fairly regularly for a while that are focused solely on “How are we doing w/this merger, what’s needs attention, etc….”  If staff’s given plenty of private and “public” opportunities to share their input and/or concerns, but the partners learn they are nevertheless nay-saying the merger (and/or folks from the “other” firm) behind closed doors, then that too would need to be addressed promptly (and firmly) to avoid the spread of their venom.

My years of experience has shown that too often mergers are entered into haphazardly, too quickly, for the wrong reasons (or expectations) and without the proper preparation being made before the actual merger itself occurs.  When rushed through too quickly there are usually costly repercussions and lots of “clean-up/repair work” to be done office wide.   Mergers can be a very smart thing to do, but only if there’s careful pre-planning done not ony about the financial aspects but also the merging of two different workplace cultures and how to do so respectfully, professionally and successfully!

Let me know if you want me to write more on this subject and as always, thanks for stopping by my ever-evolving new blog!

With smiles & best wishes,

Nancy

I’ve previously blogged about telecommuting in regard to handling in-house employees who may be disgruntled over remote working employees  (http://lawbusinesstips.com/2009/06/24/telecommuting-disgruntled-co-workers/) and experiences shared by other companies (http://lawbusinesstips.com/2009/07/08/telecommuting-cost-savings-cisco/).  Today, I found this blog post that is also worthwhile reading about the management of telecommuters: http://bit.ly/3NxO3N.

In addition to the tips and discussions found in the posts above, I add these suggestions for law firms and businesses that already have employees who telecommute:

(1)  one to three times each year hold events that require employees with shared work goals to meet for continuing education and training, social time and general business sessions.

(2)  If your telecommuters are not far away, have them come into the main office at least once a month (pre-scheduled for the convenience of all!) to touch base with their supervisors and co-workers in person.

(3) Create and maintain a diverse working environment mindset among all employees.  This means management will not tolerate nay-saying or any other negative attitudes to develop toward its telecommuters (and visa versa!).  Supervisors who say or imply anything negative against telecommuters are especially “poisonous” …..their negativity gives all employees implied permission to do the same and it ratifies the destructive act of behind-the-door backstabbing….destructive because it significantly decreases productivity, office morale and a team spirit mindset.

(4) Many things can cause friction between in-house employees and telecommuters including:

• jealousy,
• general distrust of management and/or one’s co-workers,
• a lack of understanding about a telecommuter’s responsibilities,
• a failure by management to make it clear that each and every employee brings value to the team and plays a role in its success stories;  and
• employees (in-house or telecommuters) with a “holier than thou” attitude and/or total lack of empathy for their co-workers’ responsibilities and related on-the-job pressures (most of us have been around the “Poor, poor me” types who think their job involves more stress and their plates are fuller than others!

Stop these poisons in their tracks or beware the rapid spread of negative consequences among the troops and on the quality of services or products.

(5)  Via your internal newsletters or in person at department meetings, etc., regularly share positive comments about employee contributions, their different success stories — big and small, creative ways they’ve helped clients/customers or co-workers, etc.  All too often we only let others hear about what someone hasn’t done or what they’ve done wrong (“When I’m right who remembers and when I’m wrong who FORGETS!”)….it’s important to ensure that we are sharing the positives as well – often and openly.

Telecommuting is becoming more widely accepted and utilized and it can be an extremely successful addition to any workplace IF we give it the planning and management attention needed.  Please share your experiences, tips and other comments about telecommuting my taking a few minutes to submit your comments below.  Many thanks for “listening” and adding to this discussion…wishing everyone a great week ahead!

Nancy

Be on the lookout within the next month or so for a totally new look to my blog. ….going to be getting the polish it desperately needs with the help of folks who are experts when it comes to blogging and who have the time I haven’t had to get it spiffed up for you, my wonderful readers….bottom line is the blog will be much easier to navigate, search, etc.  Once it’s up and running – still down the road a few weeks, please share the benefit of your feedback with me.  I am writing for YOU, my readers for which I am so grateful and want to make it a worthwhile and enjoyable stop during your online time.

On a different subject, many thanks to Vicki Voisin (http://www.paralegalmentorblog.com/), paralegal specialist, author and speaker. She recently blogged about one of my posts (http://bit.ly/ezzGP). It was the one in which I shared my frustrations over the use of the word “non-lawyer” (http://bit.ly/Es6Ye).  Lawyers USA also published my thoughts on their online site (http://bit.ly/MZaEh).  Had a few attorneys and others acknowledge their agreement via their Twitter posts.  As I’ve written and stated previously many times, of course the term is used in many forums with no negative intent whatsoever…I know that.  Still, just don’t “get it” as to why we’re the ONLY profession to use a “non” label when referring to those that don’t have a law license.  More importantly, why can’t we use ANY other word or combination of words (e.g. legal assistant, staff member, paralegal, etc.) instead of “non-lawyer?!?”   What do you think – please take a few minutes to share your thoughts re my concerns over our use of the “N-L” word!?

Thanks again for visiting, let me know any subjects you’d like me to address (more legal staff issues, client rights and appreciation, business smarts, marketing on an hourly basis, effective communications, working with difficult folks, stress management tools, time management/organization, etc.!).  Wishing everyone a great week ahead with many smiles along the way both shared by you and with you!